Sunday, October 5, 2014


Sometimes, the smallest decisions have the biggest impact on our lives.

This morning Ty and I decided to go out for breakfast together.  We had two very  popular places in mind but being that they were so busy we ended up at Village Inn.  The hostess sat us next to an elderly couple with the woman in a wheel chair.  I didn't really think anything about it and we carried on with our coffee and chit chat.  I people watch when I'm out and about and I glanced over a few times and smiled at the lady.  Her husband was so sweet and very attentive.  When the waitress brought out their food they had ordered one meal.  The husband came over to the side where his wife was and divided of the food.  He then began to feed her breakfast.  It was at this point that I actually started to pay attention.  I started listening and really paying attention to the care he took with her it was.  What broke my heart was their conversation.  This sweet woman was asking her husband if he had a girlfriend to which he answered "Dear, you're my girlfriend, and my wife.  We got married in 1954."  She looked right at him and asked, " we're married?  How long have we been married?"  Him "We've been married for 60 years."  She then asked him if they had any children but I was focusing to much on trying not to cry that I never heard the answer.  

This went on our entire breakfast.  She would ask him questions about their life and he would answer in such a loving and adoring way it almost made me jealous.  I wanted to slap the waitress though.  When she was in the kitchen with the other servers she made the comment, "when i get old I don't want someone to have to feed me."  Honestly, we should be so lucky, to have someone that loves us so much that even at our worse they will be there to feed us.  

Near the end of our meal, I heard her husband tell that he loved her so much.  Her response hit like a ton of bricks because it's the same way I respond to my Tyler when he says it to me.  She said "I love you more.  I love you more than you love me."  

It's not a secret that getting old scares me but if growing old with my Tyler is what I have to do I will do it.  If after 60years of marriage he looks at me and loves me like he does now or more I will be happy.  Despite all the crap that life throws at us I for one feel so blessed that it offers us the chance at love and happiness.

Love is always a good thing!  Give as much as you can!  

Monday, August 11, 2014

Do you Believe in Ghosts?

Do you believe in Ghosts?  I never did; in fact, I made fun of one of my friends for believing in life beyond the grave.   My opinion now is very, very different.
About five years ago a friend and I moved into a house that her boss had purchased.  One half was the apartment that we lived in and the other was their office.  It was a nice house and he had done some nice renovations.  Apart from the living situation, there were two things I didn’t like.  One, I didn’t have a bedroom door, (which wasn’t a big deal being alone in the basement until other circumstances made it a big deal.  DOORS are symbolic now I think about it) and with the additions they did to the house some of the windows looked out underneath the house.  My bedroom window looked underneath the office addition.  It was creepy and my blinds were always shut.
Now, everything didn’t start happening all at once.  There were a couple of incidents that woke me out of a dead sleep but that I brushed off as being half asleep and groggy.  That would not be the case for what I consider the “Beginning”.
One night I was sleeping and I was woken up but what sounded like a locked door handle being switched back and forth quickly.  I remember looking at my alarm clock and it was 3:38 am.  Still not having a door, I turned over and laid back down…until it happened a second time.  The difference was that I was more awake.  I was lying on my stomach and had propped myself up on my forearms, REALLY AWAKE NOW, and listened; I had heard it a third time.  Now, one could argue that my roommate could have done it to play a trick on me; however, we had hardwood floors and it was a really old house I would have heard her get out of bed, as I always did, and even tip-toeing across the floor I would have heard the creaks.  Not to mention she had a dog that would have followed her and you couldn’t disguise that noise if you tried.  I didn’t even consider the significance of the door until now.
My boyfriend/now husband hated staying there.  He would tell me that he would hear children playing in the basement living room or little girls laughing.  I honestly can’t remember hearing the little girls but who knows.  I've talked to him about it and he always mentions the dreams he would have while staying there.  Very vivid, graphic dreams.  He says he's never had dreams like that since.
In the layout of the house, when you go down the stairs to the basement my bedroom was at the very bottom to the right, just off the stairs.  At the bottom of the stairs, there was a light.  This light was so finicky and it was constantly going out.  I chalked it up to bad wiring because well, the renovations we’re pretty but half-assed.  Not to mention the house was pretty old.  We would be sitting on the bed watching TV and it would go out for about an hour then turn back on.  It would go out again and be out for weeks even over a month or so and just at random come back on.  When I finally got a bedroom door, I’d get up in the morning and the light would be on.
I had a few other experiences in the house.  Prior to getting my bedroom door, I always felt like there was someone standing in the doorway staring in; watching me sleep.  When I was upstairs I watching TV, I always saw motion out of the corner of my eye and always felt like I was being watched.  My Roommate at the time said the same thing.  I don’t know if she experienced much on our side of the house but she said that she did in her office.  Granted they decided to mess with the Ouiji Board in her office so technically, that’s her fault.  While I don’t feel that it’s totally to blame I feel that it didn’t help matters.
We lived together for about two years and this went on constantly.  I couldn’t stand to turn my TV off at night because well, I didn’t want to hear what was going on around me and I didn't feel as alone with it on. 
For the Grand Finale, make me a believer beyond any sort of doubt, I’ve never been more afraid than I was one particular night when this being made its presence known. 
It was a Sunday evening and the boyfriend had just left to go home.  I went back downstairs to watch TV and my Roommate went to get dinner.  When she got home she text messaged me and said that dinner was here, so, I turned off my TV left my bedroom light on (the stairs light was out again) and went upstairs.  After dinner at about 10:30ish pm, I went back downstairs to bed when I heard a loud buzzing noise.  It was loud enough that I would have heard it when I left my room.  I searched around the room, went through the basement and into the utility room (the paranormal investigators stated that they felt like they were being watched from the doorway of the utility room) that I had shared a wall with and the noise was gone.  I went back to my room and looked around, called my roommate down to make sure I wasn’t loosing it, and then I found what was buzzing in one of those plastic bins you get for storage.  We laughed at first but when I picked up what was buzzing I realized that there was NO WAY that it could have switched on by its self.  You had to push up on the ‘on’ switch.  After I had put it back in the drawer the temperature in my room dropped significantly and I couldn’t move except for the shaking of my entire body.   I don’t think I’d ever been so scared in my whole life.  I started crying hysterically and my roommate decided that she would call her brother who is an Elder in his church to come and bless the house.  I had called the boyfriend crying because I didn’t know what to do but honestly what could he do he was a half hour away.  Not being a religious person at the time (still not) I ran to the storage room to dig through my boxes to find ANYTHING that had Jesus or any God related I could to put in my room.  I ended up finding my Scriptures (Bible and Book of Mormon).  After I placed that on my book shelf I waited upstairs with my roommate.
Once her brother showed up he said that he could feel that something was there before he even walked into the house.  He said a prayer/blessing in every room but he said he couldn’t even walk into mine; that something was there that wouldn’t let him in.  He stood in the corner near the doorway (another doorway) and said what he needed to say and he said that it was immediately gone.
After he left I went searching again for a Picture of Jesus to keep near me and well did a bit of house cleaning.  After that things were pretty calm in the house up until we moved out.
Since that happened, I’ve always had the feeling that I was being watch.  No matter if I was driving, at school, work, home, wherever I was never alone.  For about a month before I got married, I was living alone in our apartment and I could feel it there too.  I continued the habit of leaving the Television on because I couldn’t stand the darkness.  Then it all started happening again.
Once night, I had woken up to a flash going off in my face.  Like someone had taken the flash of a professional camera, stuck it right to my eyes, and set it off.  It was so real that when I opened my eyes I had light spots in my vision.  At first I thought it was the Husband but he was snoring away peacefully.  I pushed him awake and asked if he had seen it as well but he said no. 
A few weeks after that, around 3:00 am (yes, I Know), I had woken up naturally to turnover and readjust my blankets when I saw the silhouette of a man standing in our doorway watching us sleep.  I laid there paralyzed for about a minute not being able to move anything or even say anything.  I remember thinking if it was a real person I didn’t want them to know I was awake and looking right at them.  It didn’t move though, not even a little.  I eventually fell asleep and didn’t see it again.  Over the next few nights I lay in the exact position and tried to “recreate” the image with shadows from the kitchen but I couldn’t do it.  The shadow was so black and opaque that I couldn’t see the Green lights from the oven and microwave. 
Over time I would hear things, the temperature would change, and I’d have that feeling of constantly being watched.   (I’m not a looker so this Ghost stalker has me stumped)  I had the feeling that I was being followed by my friend from the old house. 
When our apartment flooded and we had to move I was hoping it would be over but just goes to show you how little I know about the supernatural.
When we had finally settled into our new apartment I kind of felt like things were calming down.  I still felt watched but it hadn’t made it presence known for a while.  It was about 6 months in the new place when, what I’m now convinced is a male, he made his next appearance.  I was alone in the apartment, figuratively speaking, and was getting into the shower.  The fan in our bathroom is really loud and obnoxious and I hate it when it’s on.  The only one of us that turns it on is the husband.  When got in the bathroom, I had my iPad with me to turn on some music, and do the little things we do before we jump in the shower.  It was a good three –five minutes.
When I got in the shower and closed the shower curtain I started to wet my hair when the fan in the bathroom came on. (The switch is next to the light switch)  I all but jumped out of my skin and immediately called for the Husband thinking he came home.  I thought he had gotten home and turned the fan on to scare me.  (Ok, I have a bad habit of scaring him but I have since stopped).  I yelled twice but no answer.  Now, I’m shaking like a leaf and hiding in the shower as if that is going to be any protection.  I finally gathered myself together, got out, and went to my nightstand where I keep my weapon of choice, and walked in all my naked glory through our 600 sq ft apartment looking for anyone.  I checked the door and it was still locked, all the windows were locked.  Our apartment is tiny; there are only so many places one can hide.  At first I thought, maybe I just hit the switch but why would it take at least 7 minutes for it to come on.  Fastest shower I’ve ever taken…..
This brings us to the week of 08/04/2014.  The husband leaves for work at about 5:13 am (literally) every single morning and he’s good about saying goodbye to me.  At 5:15am Tuesday morning my alarm went off as normal and I laid there for a moment trying to wake-up.  I was lying on my left side when I noticed a black figure walking from left to right across my bedroom door.  The way the figure was walking I thought it was the Husband so I propped myself up on my left elbow and called out “Honey, I love you.”   I didn’t get a response so I yelled “Honey,” again.  Nothing.  I stayed like that waiting to hear the door shut and the deadbolt lock because I had a feeling it wasn’t the Husband but my “Friend” paying yet another doorway visit. 
Since my first experience, I’ve tried to explain away what I was seeing.  Maybe I was tired; shadow from the outside, the fan, the TV anything and I can’t.  Last Tuesday was no different.  I thought it was our fan moving but the movement was in the opposite direction and the height of the figure was not comparable. 
I don’t know what kind of spirit he is; harmful, playful, or Guardian Angel-like; I don’t know.  Sometimes, I feel fine when I know he’s around but other times its uncomfortable and he has scared me…HELLO, NAKED IN A SHOWER. (Enter Alfred Hitchcock Psycho Reference here).  Either way, I need find out for sure if what I’m dealing with is someone I need to be concerned about and why he appears in the manner in which he does.
Or if I need to consider meds... 
Most of the people I’ve talked to about this have a very supportive reaction.  They’re curious and want to know more about it.  After we moved out of the house, the new renters experienced a lot of the same things.  The boy that lived in my old bedroom started experiencing similar paranormal activities I had and eventually stopped sleeping in the room all together.  I wanted to talk with him about it but I never got the chance.  I found out later on that the second renters after us had called the Local Paranormal Investigators and they came to investigate the house. They had several EVP's, two of which I did hear and one a have saved. 
Why me?  Are we linked in some way?  Is he someone I used to know?  Is he trying to warn me?  Is he protecting me?  How in the world to I begin to get these questions answered?  Do I seek out a spiritual leader within my Religious circle, do I need a Medium, Psychic, Shrink...Six months in the padded room with a Hug Yourself Jacket?
It may be a figment of my imagination but maybe not.  All I know is that ever since I lived in that house nothing has been the same.  OH and one more thing...the roommate and I are not friends nor on speaking terms.  That house was then end of our fourteen year friendship.  Second to my husband, the only other living person that knows everything about me and we no longer speak.
Anyway, that is the story so far.  If/when more stuff happens I will write about it.  Hopefully I will get some answers.